Zen and the art of kicking tyres

The Sevco AGM today did not disappoint in terms of entertainment value.

Since the club was created in 2012 by Charles of Normandy, these annual sit-downs have been a reliable source of bizarre hilarity, and today was no different.

One environmentally focused bear wanted unsurpassed dignity to be achieved alongside net zero.

He reportedly added a “no surrender” to his dignified demand.

Bless.

Then came the interesting part.

The esteemed chairman laid it out for the assembled throng:

“This club lost £10.5m last year pre-player trading, that’s a number that needs to go away and you should keep an eye on that number.

“That £10.5m needs to become zero.

“I’ve been kicking tyres and finding cost savings, and it will come down. Rangers will go to a place where they break even before player trading, so don’t be concerned about that.”

Actually, dear reader, he’s telling the truth.

Caught between Hector and UEFA, they have no choice.

The problem for any football club is that there are fixed costs to running a stadium, and these cannot be driven down to any significant extent.

Therefore, the major area for an austerity drive is staffing, and that, overwhelmingly, is player salaries.

It probably did not help the Transcendental Chairman’s mood last week when another member of the Sevco High Command proffered the opinion that it would probably have been better to stick with Giovanni van Bronckhorst.

The Blue Room chap observed that sacking the affable Dutchman in November 2022 cost the club around £30m.

His rough calculation was that in taking that decision, the club had, since then, paid off TWO management teams and splurged on  Mickey B’s work experience transfer spree last summer.

Consequently, they spaffed thirty mill up the wall to go backwards.

Awkward…

At this point, I’m told, the Dalai Lama of the Blue Room was very close to peak tranquillity.

Of course, none of this is the fault of dear Philippe.

My information is that he is now fully aware of the financial realities facing the thirteen-year-old club.

Moreover, he knows that victory in Seville will significantly influence what happens in the January window.

For his part, Clement had asked some pointed questions about how the scouting operation was being run before he arrived at the basket of assets.

At a recent dignified conclave, one of Philippe’s guys mentioned to that nice young Mr Bisgrove that Celtic would almost certainly spend money in the next window.

I’m told that this observation elicited an exceptionally tranquil response from the chairman.

Actually, Sevco’s main hope is that the Grey Brigade, once more, move the goalposts on Brendan.

After all, they have form on that.