Pretence can be an expensive lifestyle choice.
However, it is something that the Sevco High Command have been locked into since the days of Charles of Normandy.
Of course, that narrative hasn’t changed since the Off License Putsch of 2015.
Indeed, if anything King et al have doubled down on the pretence.
Primarily, they’re pretending to be Rangers FC.
Moreover, the Fitba Fifth estate is in a Faustian pact to maintain that Orwellian fiction.
One can only imagine how the folks on the Herald Sports Desk go about their daily business when this was the factual front page back in 2012.
Rangers did indeed die seven years ago, but the footie hacks at that title report on matters Sevco in 2019 as if it didn’t happen at all.
As a journalist who cares about journalism I find this very strange behaviour indeed.
Because Sevco is pretending to be Rangers then several things naturally follow follow on from that.
As in, they have to keep up the pretence that they’re a well-funded operation.
Of course, the reality is more grubby, more desperate.
This time last year the Sevco High Command was stung by accusations that their training camp was a bit downmarket.
So much so, that a couple of the more obedient members of the Stenography Corps were pressed into service to get out a counter-narrative.
One thing that big clubs definitely DO have these days is a professional social media operation.
Celtic FC is a good example of this as are the larger EPL outfits.
So, I do not know what astrophysicist was in charge of Sevco’s twitter last night but this is gold dust.
Timmy Twitter responded immediately with some hurtfully forensic observations about the non-branded gear on show.
In fairness though, as a PR own goal, it doesn’t rate with this counterfeit cracker at the airport.
What must Stevie G make of it all?
Dear reader, if I didn’t know any better I would be thinking that Mr Let’s Go is becoming a tad disillusioned with his chairman.
Perhaps, just speculation on my part of course, that Sevco’s resident MBE has finally realised that all of those reassuring chats with Mr David Cunningham King have not amounted to much.
They certainly haven’t yielded up the millions that he said he needed to bolster his squad.
As has been previously reported here, a key part of Dave’s cunning plan has been to offload Señor Alfredo José Morelos Aviléz for a substantial eight-figure sum (Stevie mate that means at least ten million. Cheers!).
The prosaic truth is that a fee of £20m for Alfredo Elbows would be a huge boon to Sevco’s critical finances.
To that end there has been some succulent coverage of bids that have been about to be made for the Colombian striker.
It would appear that the rationale behind this reportage is that if it doesn’t work in generating real interest in the player then everyone will forget about it within a few days.
That is the only explanation I can come up with for this award-winning scoop from May.
Remember this one?
I took a week out of my life to try and stand up this amazing scoop.
Ultimately I failed to corroborate the Daily Radar’s story.
Dear reader, it is almost as if the Chinese Club either didn’t exist or there was no bid in the first place.
Of course, any footballer is worth only what someone is willing to pay for his services.
However, there are always some educated guesses at what the real asking price might be.
Therefore, I was surprised to see this on the Transfer Markt website.
No doubt someone in the Stenography Corps will soon have an exclusive that Alfredo’s market value is Off The Radar.
In the meantime, Sevco lifts the Training Camp Cup as genuine journalism is on the deck in a crumpled heap.
Soon Mr Let’s Go will have his team back in competitive action again.
Amid all of this gushing pish on the back pages, it is actually quite difficult to remember that last season Sevco didn’t win a single real trophy.
Strange that…
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Another day and more guff from the MSSM.
Daniel Sturridge, another ‘quote’ mate of Stevie G’s, bound for Ibrox, really?A guy who has been unable to get through a season in his career without a major injury consigning him to the sidelines.
Never mind his wage packet which will be of the Defoe variety.
And John Terry chipping in with praise of the fantastic job that his mate has done in his first season at Ibrox.
That will be a 2nd place finish and bumped from the two cups by Aberdeen despite having a budget significantly bigger than the rest of the SPFL clubs combined, excluding the Champions of course.
Another ‘fantastic’ season like that and no doubt the fans will be delighted…. aye right.
I keep reading that Arsenal’s transfer budget in this window is £40m.
Palace want £80m for Zaha and is keen on a move to the Emirates. How does that work?
If Arsenal’s derisive bid for KT is accepted we are selling ourselves very short.
The Villa valuation of McGinn is eye watering.
£3m to tens of millions in one season says it all about the crazy money in the EPL.
Is their photo tweet a play on the old circus joke about how many clowns you can fit in a mini?
And how do we know Jabba hasn’t ordered them off the training pitch to walk away from the parkie’s van as though they’re just getting out of it?
More questions than answers if you ask me.
I see Bjorn Again celebrated their 40th Anniversary at Glastonbury at the weekend.
Something for Glasgows own tribute act to aspire to as they scrounge around for Money, Money, Money watching as across the city as the winner takes it all 3 seasons in a row.
Fake club wins fake trophies resulting in a fake treble.
Perhaps you are being a wee bit harsh Phil?
King could be playing a rather clever long con…I mean long game!
Whilst he underwhelms with his signing strategy of homeless freebies and unwanted loanees…
Whilst his squad wears apparent knock off gear bought online from Turkey…
Whilst the TRFC merchandising is a shambles, with a megastore open only once in a blue moon…
etc…
Most supporters – staunch bears excluded – expect TRFC to repeat their achievements of last season: no silverware won.
TRFC will then have all other clubs where they want them, and instead will dazzle us all with their total football, and ruthlessly efficient – but highly entertaining – winning style.
Mibbees a wee Europa final could be on the cards?
…
Nurse! Nurse!
🙂
I’d like to see Kent at Celtic Park. He was the pick of them last season and would thrive in a professional outfit.
Well, Kent could certainly introduce Boxercise to his new teammates at their daily training sessions!
Just to clarify, €3,00m = €3m. The continentals use a comma where we use a decimal point. So, £2.7m approx. Still overvalues him by at least 100%.
So that’s a treble for them then, the 80 minute league, the close season cup and the training camp cup. Well done Sevco
Deserves another star on the jersey I’m sure.
Phil – can you help me out again please? First, they win the Close Season Cup, followed by the Training Camp Cup. What’s the name of the League title they have to win in order for a treble to be celebrated down sevco way?
It’s a world record mate…
I see Liverpool have concluded a loan deal with one of their players going to Hertha Berlin.
£2m loan fee, possible £500k add ons, full wage packet to be picked up by the Germans and a clause on game time.
I would imagine a similar deal for Kent might be a tad rich for the Ibrox club/company/ thingy.