In a parallel universe, there is a Scottish sports journalist who has already broken the story about the Sevco training camp in Spain.
The exclusive report would reveal that the new Ibrox manager was less than impressed with the Poundland operation.
Our fictional journalist, operating in a different dimension, would also have found out that Mr Gerrard had recently received some bad financial news.
As in being informed that he had already exceeded his budget for re-building the Sevco squad.
It is almost as if Mr Gerrard had been badly informed by someone very close to him and that this trusted confidant had assured him that you could take a Dave King promise to the bank.
Almost…
Back on Planet Fitba the inter-galactic PR guru has been getting it in the neck from his Johannesburg based boss.
Apparently, the ample advisor has been informed that he needs to “get ahead” of the Poundland narrative.
If only everyone on Planet Fitba was as biddable a certain well-rounded young chap who was out there in Spain obediently averting his eyes at the unfolding embarrassment.
Anyone who thinks that the Gerrard experiment will end well for Sevco has not been paying attention.
Where the chairs exported from the tent?????? we are nearing the final curtain
Bring on the football.
A scene captured through the rifle lense of Lee Van Cleef in his relentless pursuit of the Good the Bad and extremely Ugly….the banditos are caught in the act whilst reclining on a selection of chairs brought over from the ipox executive meeting room……ah the legacy.
More like a scene from It Ain’t Half Hot Mum and Sevvy G is going through his little book of contacts to see if he can sign a punkah wallah. The comedy keeps coming from the zombies. HH
Stevie G’s not finished yet. IN mooting the possibility of signing John McGinn.
So anywhere between £3/5m with a substantial chunk up front.
These guys are living in cloud cuckoo land.
The wage bill is through the roof with most of the big hitters still pulling down a pay packet. There is no significant rise in revenues to fund the increase.
Share issue, no chance.
Without Europa Cup Group Stage qualification the big house will collapse under the financial strain with only King left standing as the banker of last resort.
That’s a scary thought for the Ibrox punters.
Nothing has been learned from the bigging up of Warburton, Caixinha and, for a spell, even Murty.
In the space of a few weeks the memories of the 4 nil cup defeat and the 5 nil league anihilation have disappeared, as if they didn’t happen.
A couple of bad results and another hammering at Celtic Park in September will no doubt see questions posed about hiring a novice manager who in 2003 travelled to Seville to cheer on the Hoops.
On the face of it, that photo tells of financial woes at sevco, but if you care to read between the lines a wee bit, it becomes obvious what’s going on…
It appears that Dave King has negotiated a deal with the BBC to have the team participate as extras in Eastenders, when stunt-doubles are required in scenes featuring the allotments, and in any other shows that require this particular skillset.
Never, ever mock a man in a wheelchair. You have been warned!! ???
Wearing heat absorbing black Hummin kit in the Spanish sun wtf. Mad dogs and Englishmen spring to mind, but I suppose they have to work with what they’re given. Poor poor sevco. HH
Is this what a Respect Generating Symposium looks like to the uninitiated?
Received my signed first edition of the book!
Looking forward to reading it.
Picture this if you will. An ample advisor having had a new one recently ripped out of him makes his first call to this site today, sighs and reaches for the 5 litre bottle of Gaviscon on his desk (other indigestion remedies also available) as he waits for yet another international call.
PS Good morning Dave, any news from TOP yet?
sevco website are advertising for matchday volunteers. AKA can’t afford stewards.
I see that the Scottish sporting (aye!) media have a new tactic.
Maybe realising (but not saying it)… that the Govan Warchest is empty..
… they are now doing their best to get Celtics defence sold for us!
Nice of them to help out what with our desperate financial predicament and uncertain future.
“And what time is this bus due ” ?
The English media is positively salivating at the exit of Germany from the World Cup.
They just can’t help themselves.
Perhaps now it’s clear that Belgium reserves are far superior to England’s the hype may be toned down a tad.
Oh how I would love to see the Columbian’s turn them over on Tuesday.
A contraversial VAR decision against Southgate’s team would be ideal as the pundits once more shift their positions on the worthiness of the system from bad to good and back to bad as England exit the tournament.
Phil, as far as I’m aware there is no WIFI access available to fans attending matches at Ibrox.
Any idea as to how this saga played out?
From memory the suppliers tried to have monies ring fenced a couple of years back but the court denied them.
I thought that teams travelled to Spain in the winter together away from the Scottish weather and get some sun on their backs. They might not have spent much money on their budget trip but if they’re playing ‘rangers v rangers’ then even that measly spend has been a waste of money cos it’s 30c in Glasgow as far as I can see.
Nice one.
A picture does indeed paint a thousand words, Phil.
That one is a cracker!
Dad’s Army written all over it…
“We will fight them on the beaches” Steven Gerrard 2018 ……the comedy caravan roadshow runs on and the dug keeps barking
The image looks like they are practicing for sitting in the dugout at Ibrokes.
That photo is a belter !
I love the RFC watermark over it – a mark of true pride in themselves.
Is that a ‘WTF have I got myself into?’ look on Sevvie Gs face?
Would make a great caption competition.
Maybe they’re just waiting for the tide to come in.
It’s like when Rocky fought Drago but even Balboa’s training facilities were posher than Sevco’s. I’m surprised nobody’s complained to the Social Work Dept.
Phil,
When the Coroner finally carries out the autopsy on their stinking corpse, he/she will probably discover that the Madness of King Dave was most likely due to acute intermittent Porphyria, a disease whose symptoms are extreme highs ( not very frequent ) and even more extreme lows, combined with fakes ‘n’ pains and blue urine.
It will transpire that it was highly contagious and had spread to the Scottish Mainstream Media, which would account for the blue-tinted pish they continue to peddle.
The sooner that everyone accepts that this lot are going to hell in a basket of assets, the better.
Hail and Hail again !
“the madness of King Dave”, “going to hell in a basket of assets”.
The smsm sports journalists are incapable of coming up with such quality writing.
LMFAO
Bet old King disny pay the hotel bill and they get caught sneaking oot. Phil get the name and gie them the heads up make them pay cash up front.
That photograph speaks volumes.
We had better facilities when we trained and played with Boys Guild in Glasgow
60+ years ago.
Mr Gerrard, whit a riddy!
Imagine sending the Puddin out to report on Sevco training on a bit of waste ground.
Great stuff. Thanks again.
Oh my Phil, what on earth does your picture depict. A bench, possibly curtesy of the nearest house of God, and two of llidl’s finest folding chairs.
The Barren Wasteland of Sevco Mediocrity. All that’s missing is the tumbleweed. Surely someone could have afforded a hanky for Mc Allister’s marble.
I know they detest anything green, but FFS, surely a bit of grass wouldn’t hurt.
The Penny Arcade.
Lemons and popcorn shortage for Aberdeen game assuming Sevco are barred from Europe on cheating charges of present/former Directors.?
Are the bookends in that picture both Gerrard? Are there two Gerrards? Would two Gerrards be better than one? We need to be told the truth.
Meanwhile in a parallel universe, Sevco are going to be the dominant force in Scottish football this season.
Every picture tells a story…do you think they are wearing factor 54
Somebody went to buy Factor 55, but they couldn’t find it!
Keep the good/bad news comin Phil ! Keep yet ear to the ground also for any new faces headin for the east end ….I’ve a feeling something more upmarket than Poundland’s coming are way …
Hope Neil Lennon gets a good second this year too . He was home last Friday for a charity night and on the Saturday at the airport (hanging like a bat)still took the time to chat and pose for photos with all whom approached him ..Forever a top Bhoy
And now the travel debacle…what’s next for this mob?
Keeping us well informed as always, thanks, just bought The Squad, first book with real pages and print for years looking forward to a good read
I hope you enjoy the book.
Ample advisor…..
Even their sand dunes are pitiful.