Peak succulence at Sevco

A week ago Celtic crushed Sevco.

At 5-0 it became a keep-ball exercise for Rodgers’ men.

It was Seven In A Row and the segregated area next to Police Control emptied rather quickly.

Perhaps some of those who stoically demonstrated their Dunkirk Spirit at Celtic Park were also among those giving Nazi salutes to Scottish independence marchers in Glasgow yesterday.

After all, Fascism is not unknown among the Ibrox customer base.

After the thrashing at Parkhead last week some of The People decided to vent their anger at the Sevco Player Of The Year awards in Glasgow.

It was certainly clear to me that a massive squirrel was required from the Sevco High Command to get their customer base back onside.

Mr David Cunningham King has duly delivered.

Although his Blue Room colleagues were largely in the dark about the move initially.

After the dénouement derby, the stenographers were already in a fragile emotional state.

I’m afraid that King’s conjuring trick tipped many of them over the edge.

The aroused coverage of the Gerrard presser was a sight to behold, but it certainly wasn’t journalism.

Mr King sat beside the rookie manager and brushed off any questions about funding and finance.

He said that all of that will be addressed at a presser tomorrow.

As with anything that Mr Kings says it must be analysed and parsed.

For, not only is he a “glib and shameless liar”, but he also a very skilful disseminator.

The cognitive overload of King in full flow is impressive and a key part of his skillset.

He produces “alternative facts” on a scale similar to President Trump.

Of course, an important safeguard in this should be scrutiny from the local media.

Sadly, when they end up gushing about wedding receptions and Gerrard as the blushing bride then you know we’re not going to get that.

If everything in life comes back to the Godfather trilogy then think Hyman Roth.

A retired investor living on a pension, Hyman Roth always made money for his partners.

The corporate world knows that Rangers sleeps with the fishes.

As for Sevco?

They’re small potatoes.

However, in snaring Gerrard Mr King has reeled in a brand that is bigger than the basket of assets.

This it is a stunning PR coup for the South African based convicted criminal.

The recent concerns about season ticket renewal is now a thing of the past.

With that in mind, it is useful to examine why Mr Paul Murray and Mr Barry Scott decided to resign from the board of RIFC.

They’re both King loyalists and ethnic brogue wearers to boot.

Why at the hour of this magnificent victory would they Do Walking Away?

I know that Mr King was incensed at these unexpected departures.

As King sits down across from the salivating stenographers tomorrow it is worth recalling his victory presser over Ashely.

He proclaimed the good news and the hacks lapped it up.

However, there was no mention of the £3m cost to RIFC that subsequently appeared in the annual accounts.

Perhaps that small matter slipped his mind.

At the time the folks in Shirebrook were delighted with the new arrangement.

Of course, The People believed the spin and bought anything that was available in the store.

Well, perhaps not everything…

The current PR Svengali at Sevco is the chap who inspired the term “succulent lamb” with a bodice-ripping piece in 1998 when he had a convivial dinner with David Murray.

Now, with Gerrard at Sevco and King calling the shots, we are dangerously close to peak succulence.

Tomorrow the word “investment” might be used quite a bit.

The dictionary definition is:

“The action or process of investing money for profit.”

The current Ibrox business model is incapable of producing a profit and King knows it.

Of course, what The People are really craving is charity.

Indeed, it is that Sugar Daddy addiction that made them a mark for Craig Whyte.

That’s why they cheered him down Edmiston Drive in May 2011.

For the avoidance of doubt, it was not your humble correspondent who said he was a billionaire with wealth off the radar.

That’s someone else you’re thinking of.

An entirely different chap.

Weapons-grade stenography and a “glib and shameless liar” is a toxic combination.

As ever, when matters Ibrox are on the back pages, the truth is the first casualty.

You would be wise to dismiss any claims made Mr King tomorrow.

Likewise, any giddy “analysis” proffered by the sports desk chaps.

If journalists were present then it would be questions answered and answers questioned.

However, you’re more likely to get another helping of ejaculatory column inches about weddings at Ibrox.

Discover Phil’s dramatic play Rebellion