The Joey Pedro and Stevie show

Steven Gerrard at Ibrox holds out a tantalising prospect to The People.

The possibility of relevance.

The last two matches played against Celtic had a 9-0 aggregate score.

Between those two fixtures, the Sevco High Command had expressed their concerns to Mr King about the slow rate of season ticket renewals.

When the ex-Liverpool chaps first emerged as the next victim in the Sevco hot seat I dubbed it the “Liver Squirrel”.

The question I posed to Mr Gerrard was whether or not he was paying attention.

Clearly, he wasn’t.

Instead, he has accepted assurances from the man a Judge in South Africa stated was “a glib and shameless liar”.

At this stage, there isn’t much more to be added except that Mr Gerrard has my sympathies.

His life is about to be turned upside down and not in a good way.

Of course, this is Wonderful news for the Stenography Corps.

The summer will be an avalanche of transfer speculation stories.

It is a given that The People will believe all of it.

They will now look forward to the new season with hope in their hearts.

Everything will be wonderful until football matches have to be played.

Two summers ago it was “jealous about Joey”.

Mr Barton was another King squirrel to entice The People.

It worked.

Until, of course, the French-speaking midfielder met Scott Brown on the pitch.

Then last summer it was Pedro and his caravan.

He was the new Mourinho.

One silly young chap on the Daily Radar even produced a cartoon to explain how Senhor Pedro Miguel Faria Caixinha was a tactical genius.

Again, it as massively positive for The People until football matches had to be played.

I have observed previously that what has happened to the Ibrox customer base since the summer of 2011 when Craig Whyte the billionaire was “front-loading” is redolent of a cruel experiment.

Indeed, even in their darkest moments, I don’t think Stanley Milgram or Philip Zimbardo would put their subjects through anything like this.

Today is not the day for The People to be concerned about Close Brothers, the Takeover Panel or civil war in the Blue Room.

Of course, they should be, but for now, they can believe that all of it will somehow be ok.

This is the same collective mindset that cheered Craig Whyte down Edmiston Drive.

After all, they had been told that he was a billionaire.

Within 9 months their grief was off the radar.

Now, if only there had been an independent journalist working away on the story.

A reporter who could have warned them that a tsunami of excrement was heading their way.

If only…

 

 

Aon rud eile…

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Míle Buíochas

 

 

48 thoughts on “The Joey Pedro and Stevie show”

  1. You got my vote Tonite Phil and good luck . Well Stevie G I hope you watched on Sunday cause there’s a whole lot more hurt coming Sevcos way COYBIG ????

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  2. It’s pretty clear the reason he won’t be taking up his new duties before next season starts is really about not letting the bubble burst before the season ticket money is in.

    He’s John Barnes without the squad.

    Interesting to see Super Salary taking a break from his gardening to tel bt sports Scottish football extra that rangers have wasted transfer money this evening. Of course there was no sense of irony whatsoever when he announced that.

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  3. So accies await the 4 easy payments for docherty but here stevie there’s 30 million to bring who you want so mullions up front to whoever gerrard brings in but the wee scottish mug club can sing for their transfer money ah only in Scotland.

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  4. This is really great for Scottish Football ( well according the MSM ) . On The Radio there talking about getting rid of the Dead Wood . One guy has came on and already said that 5 Million has been offered for Mr James Tavernier . Unfortunately the caller didn’t declare if that was Pounds or Pence . Personally my own opinion upon watching the Guy would it must definitely have been Pence . Also just a little on the -G -Man . I don’t know if he’s ever had to use ,or maybe has never heard of The Provident, he soon will .

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  5. Gerrard quoted as saying, ” I had a feeling in my stomach, that’s why I joined Rangers. It’s called the Shits mate, AKA Derry Belly.
    Just wait until you see the players you will have at your disposal trying to kick a ball.
    Brown slacks, as well as brown brogues, might just be the order of the day Stevie Bhoy.

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  6. Steven G announced. Close bros paid. Then all promises broken to survive. Queue more financial chaos. I give you, ‘The Sevco flying circus’ in full formation.

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  7. Fantastic news, the media in England won’t entertain Glue boy’s squirrels.

    All that needs to happen now is that they look under the bonnet which is open at companies house.

    Roll on the inevitable car crash.

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  8. Guy in my work says,from a good source that 75 million is coming in from Hong Kong for next season alone which is quite staggering if true.There is definitely something going on in the background ,or this is last chance scenario to stop ten in a row.

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    • If that’s the case then why has Barry Scott, a man in the know on Hong king scene, resigned? As your work colleague that.

      Also anyone of a big money perspective will put money in for a return….Sevco doesn’t offer that. It’s a bottomless pit.

      This is gambling half the house, not on red or black, not on a column of numbers. But on a single number

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  9. Watched a live sky broadcast from Ibrox earlier. Sky presenter James Matthews asked a fan what he was looking for from SG. I can’t remember the exact reply, however, it referred to Scot Brown and contained the “F” word. Matthews apologised to any viewer’s who may have been offended and tried his luck with another fan. Answer, “pit Scot Brown on his arse”. Matthews turned to the camera apologetically and we swiftly returned to the studio.

    Welcome to Rangers* Stevie G.

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  10. Just watched the press conference, King said Steve ticks all the boxes except the one with No Managerial Experience!!. I hope Gerrard counted his fingers after the handshake fae king. Gerrard’s message to the Huns was,let’s go!….. Ten In A Row.

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  11. Where’s the money coming from Phil ?
    No one in their right mind would touch this job, without something significantly more than verbal assurances ? Surely SG would have sought site of actual available funds and not accepted promises based on potential monies from revenue streams not yet gathered or guaranteed?

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    • Timmy, stop laughing, get off the floor, and be afraid, be very afraid, cos the team that dare not speak its own history is coming to savage your ankles like a daft wee puppy.

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  12. Celtic won the league this year without really getting out of first gear. Next season Celtic win the league. The BS that comes out of the sevco side is only a funny side show.

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  13. Bear with me a moment – what if – I mean – just what if – MurrayP caught wind that DavieG was planning to promise StevieG the Wirral on a stick and them scarper south of the border down Limpopo way to avoid the cold shoulder – leaving the baord to pick up the pieces of his “assurances” and another liquidation and English media scrutiny?

    In that case, would MurrayP and Cillit Bang Guy warn the Parks and Dandy Johnson – or say nothing and just leg it to save their own skins?

    Call me Shirley, but hiring StevieG could be DavieG’s finai GIRUY to the board that stopped lending him money and shattered his boyhood dreams. Bless.

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  14. They could not convince a half decent manager (Steve Clarke, Derek MC innes(twice) to take the reigns. So they went for an under 18 couch instead. Only in Scotland would the MSM class this as a masterstroke. Then again the team involved is the Mighty Glasgow Sevco, or as they call them Rangers. Anyway bring it on, can’t wait until next season.

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  15. StevieG’s appointment is just so funny. DavieG (lib and shameless) has ‘assured’ a Scouse member of Densa fund to rebuild and manager his fantasy foolball team. You’re playing a blinder DavieG.

    There is of course the possibilty that StevieG will never get to prowl the technical area if TOP dam the cash flow and burn the cheque book before summer’s out. MurrayP didn’t hand in his blazer, tie, brogues and free meal ticket for no reason you know!!!

    But until then “carrm downnn, carrrm downnn will ya”

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  16. Was today picked for the announcement to help bury any impending bad news from court in Edinburgh.
    A bit of a fixture clash that only the SFA/SPFL could replicate.

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  17. Some fans creaming themselves at the thought of Gerrard bringing Liverpool youth players to Ibrox.
    Is this what it’s come to….. acting as a feeder/development club for a big club?
    Skrtel first signing, just a couple of years younger than Steve?
    Looking forward to the blue facing press getting very excited about the forthcoming ins and outs.
    No doubt the outs will be just as difficult, if not more, to move on given their current contracts.
    Eg. Pena, Alves, Rossiter, Herrera, MOH, Cardoso, Hodson, John, Morales, to name just a few.
    Murphy, Goss, Martin, Cummings will all be returned to their parent clubs with a thanks but no thanks note attached.
    The fully not paid for Docherty will be offered back to Accies furiously waving his 4 year contract in the air demanding to be paid his £5k per week in full, before returning to his £500 per week Accies wage.
    The appointment will be a smash hit or a disaster. I know what my money will be on.
    3 year contract takes him through to Celtic going for 10 IAR.
    I doubt he will be there if he can’t stop 8 and 9.

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  18. It is a risk, but given how bad things have been for Sevco, something had to be tried. At least Gerrard will be able to recognise a player which, lets face it, was not Sally, Warburton or Pedro’s strength.
    Investment was never going to happen without something to raise the profile. Even a modest investment wisely spent could close the gap when you consider that Scottish football is so pish that even the current Sevco dross has the potential to finish 2nd.
    The big issue will be tempering the media’s slavering over all the huge name signings which has already started. Realistically there is not nearly the funds that Rodgers has so Gerrard will have to beg, loan and bargain hunt to put together a team.
    I predict that they will be an improved 2nd next season.

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    • You’re assuming that we are going to stand still Do you think that’s going to happen ? Brendan will out fox Stevie at every turn I wonder how he will like the bile about his religion and the rest of the songbook and being up to their knees in his blood He hasn’t thought this through me thinks He has believed a glib and shameless liar so he deserves all he gets No sympathy for him at all

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      • @Terry
        I think you are spot on Terry this is an educated gamble by the GASL King it not only increases the likelihood of that happening but it also gives the deluded something to hold onto as they part with their cash once more keeping the shambles afloat.
        Which I think is the primary reason for bringing Gerrard in.
        @Therese
        2angers* coming second has no impact on us coming first I doubt Terry has overlooked the fact Celtic will be carrying on strengthening for Europe regardless?
        As Jock Stein once said – Build a team good enough for Europe,Scotland will take care of itself.
        I think this is the approach the Club is now taking with Brendan.
        HH

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  19. It’s a publicity stunt get Gerrard out there just now but won’t be manager until after summer .Season books sold by then no investment put forward Gerrard calls it a day due to lack of transfer kitty and the Bennys conned again by the Chisler KERCHING.

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  20. It seems Gerrard has been convinced he will receive the necessary funds to do his work. Given the lack of external funding in any of the previous six years, the Close Brothers over/loan, the TOP issue and recent board resignations I’d be very interested to know the source of said funds.

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  21. ego is a wicked mistress it induces visions of sugar plum fairies into your head until reality sets in .good luck to SG he will need it

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  22. Mr Gerrard really must be thick as pig shit!. That plus greedy and misguided…

    It’s goong to be very funny watching it all collapse in August.

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  23. Phil..
    First up…There’s no point in trying to second guess how Sevco’s new guy will fare…’cos he’s got no previous….So what will be…will be. But my main concern here is….
    Gerrard must have been given cast-iron guarantees regarding finances…to enable him to take the job on.
    And its all very well saying that the GASL has previous when it comes to promises…but there is no way that Gerrard takes this gig on without these finances being demonstrated.
    That being the case…How the hell can that be ?
    We all know the debt level they have…we all know their squad needs completely over-hauled…and Gerrard and his side-kick won’t come cheap.
    So where’s the money coming from…?
    Something strange going on here.

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  24. 2.45 this afternoon……I can just see some poor wee woman running back from the dry cleaners with Murty’s old blazer and tie. She will have paid for the dry cleaning herself on the promise that she would be paid back in due course…..

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  25. I cannot wait to see and examine the alleged new funding. Personally I would have advised SG to seek an appropriate promissory note from King or the new investors (sic) relating to the promised sum to a specific “player transfer account”. I hope he has or he will be disappointed.

    It will be a bit of a change from strolling round Formby with his family.

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  26. I suppose with JN been in charge of the last three games is to allow SG the dignity of not been in charge should they fail to gain 3rd again. I believe this is going to be better than the previous appointments for fun, the media down South will be taking an interest in the going ons now one of their Englander hereos is up here. More scrutiny equals more exposure to dealings.

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  27. At least this time the english press will get a taste of the inevitable outcome of this appointment. Stevie G has more money than sevco so may dismiss his pay off settlement (including non-disclosure) whuch would make for a very interesting read.

    Reply

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