Fair-weather Messiah

It was 21 degrees in Glasgow yesterday.

According to the meteorological folk, the historical average temperature for that day of the year on Clydeside is 19 degrees.

So not a bad day then for all that.

However, there was one arriviste who was unimpressed with the ambient temperature at his new place of work.

Indeed I’m told that Senhor Bruno Eduardo Regufe Alves thought it a bit parky at Murray Park.

Now, as a student of the beautiful game, I have noticed that association football is usually played outdoors.

Consequently, the weather tends to play a role in the proceedings.

I recall many years ago that Celtic acquired the services of one Rafael Felipe Scheidt.

A native of Brazil he met up with his new team mates in their training camp in the Algarve.

It was scorchio when he alighted from the plane in faro, but still had to rely on a hoodie to keep the chills at bay!

He lasted three games…

Now Senhor Alves is a very good player with an excellent pedigree.

However, if a Glasgow at 21 degrees was a bit inclement for big Bruno then I wonder how we will deal with Dingwall on a November night…

The Portuguese Guardiola/ Poundshop Mourinho (delete as applicable) was gushing in his enthusiasm for the arrival of his leader yesterday.

Such was his giddiness that some of the old crew were decidedly nonplussed that the big stopper had finally turned up.

I’m told that Senhor Alves did his teammates the honour of playing in a bounce match towards the end of the session.

As we have seen recently footie at Auchenhowie is very much a full contact sport.

Consequently, the new arrival sportingly left his foot in and this resulted in a Quintessentially British player crumpled in a heap.

I can only imagine the Churchillian nature of the WhatsApp group last night!

Sadly the departure of Mr Matt Davidson Rider Crooks from the Engine Room Subsidiary depletes the numbers of the Quintessentially British at Murray Park.

I wish the young man well.

The main stream media stated that he had left Sevco for Northampton Town for “an undisclosed fee”.

I’m told that is code for £75k all in with the Holding Company Vehicle netting about £50k.

For the avoidance of doubt, the latter sum does not cover two weeks salary for  Senhor Bruno Eduardo Regufe Alves.

23 thoughts on “Fair-weather Messiah”

  1. Phil…..when (officially) will the ‘cash cow’ stop……handing out dosh?
    The season ticket money must be well spent by now……with no means of income until the 2nd week of the SPFL fixture when Hibernian are the visitors……and even then all they will collect is……any hospitality….food & drink…..and away fans ticket money……LESS costs……policing….stewards….(sorry remove the stewards costing….)….

    To be paying Alves north of £30k a week is financial suicide,……as you have repeatedly told everyone…..it is only the minnow earners who have departed far……therefore the wage bill must have increased by…..perhaps……40%…or more…..

    Unless….as a few of us have discussed in the pub……
    These exorbitant transfer fees and salaries are a little…..over exaggerated ….and that in fact….
    there is a wee side deal between…..Pedro Mendez , King and the incoming players……as in…the costs are bumped up…..with King and Alves splitting the difference…….

    Until any official audited (and signed off) accounts are presented……we will never know….

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  2. I do have a worry for tonights game… in that, Linfield’s Glasgow Supporters Club based I believe out of ‘The Louden Tavern’ will find their way into CP tonight to enjoy the game in a manner that only they and their ‘over the sea’ brethren can.

    In fact.. As sevco loyal disguised as Linfield fans and being out of Europe already themselves (Luxembourg Justice day), they have nothing to lose except a bit more of that ‘dignity’ which seems very, very thin on the ground now!

    I wonder how sales of ‘Buckfast Abbeys Finest’ have been in Glasgow today?

    Let’s hope we get out of this unscathed… and I’m not talking about the scoreline.

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  3. I’ve just invested £10 of British cash on a tour of kubla khan’s very own Xanadu (Ibrox Park). The very best investement ive every made dear reader.

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  4. If the zombeez are on phone-ins worried about in-fighting and ‘losing the dressing room’..

    …then there really must be trouble at ‘Auchen-Cheatin Park’.

    If Mr Super-Caixino is the Poundshop Jose Mourinho, then surely Mr Alves will be the ‘Brexit Joey Barton’?

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  5. Doh!

    I’ve heard it’s cold in Iceland -might check out the average temps before taking up that lucrative job as outdoor lifeguard.

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  6. I actually think we now have much for which to thank Sevco.
    There is no more Pete and Dud, no more Monty Python, Two Ronnies, Spike Milligan, Fawlty Towers and many more comedy geniuses.
    But, just in the nick of time, as an antidote to the likes of Keith Lemon, Michael MacIntyre, Jonathan Ross and all female stand up “comediennes” along comes a fabulous and hilarious new comedy act in Sevco.
    Characters who will live long in comedy legend having passed through the Sevco stage door so far include Green, Whyte, Warbs, Pedro, Ally, Barton, Garner, Halliday, Kiernan, £6m McKay. …..In fact, the more I think about it the more I think….just the whole cast. All ably assisted by a magnificent and equally hysterical support act of Dave King, Level5, everything Jabba makes them say, Keith HaHaHackson, and of course……their “statements” no matter the source!
    Sadly, like all the others, this classic comedy will also one day die…..but the big difference is….that event will also be so, so, so funny!

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  7. It would seem this entity of a football club is not concerned with uefas financial fair play regulations, looks like they think the rules don’t apply to the establishment club. Time for uefa to take a closer look into their affairs

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  8. Even the Bears sites are awash with stories of unrest at Murray Park……..two senior pros in particular are by all accounts crying Fraud whenever Pedro’s name is mentioned.
    How is it possible that when the hiring of a new management team at Ibrox was the most important decision in the last 10 years they have ended up with an unknown Portoguese guy who within a couple of months has fans recalling the Warburton era with a degree of nostalgia.
    It’s not inconceivable that he might not get to the start of the new season as the fans start to mock his press conferences and try to disseminate what he’s saying. The pre season programme has been a shambles and with the foreign brigade cracking jokes in the dressing room in Spanish with the management team its little wonder that there is a split in the dressing room……will Bruno taking the captaincy improve matters?

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  9. Must be a few noses out of joint in that changing room but I’m sure Marks magic misfits will puff out there chests and soldier on for the sake of the 5year old club Dunkirk spirit and aw that

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  10. Dingwall in November?

    There’s everywhere else in December, January and February.

    If they’re still receiving giveaway bye bye cash from a Bear or two and therefore still operating.

    Could the SFA and SPFL be giving them sneaky giveaway money? Both are highly profitable concert party limited companies.

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  11. I recently passed a car accident. Felt the need to make a quick look. Felt sad afterwards. I feel looking at the catastrophic events at ibrox feels me now as a complete sinner looking upon the inflicted and vulnerable with shameful satisfaction. Me bad?????

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  12. The laughs keep on coming. Not only will he have to adjust to the chilly climate but he’ll also have to deal with the news that there will be no European football this year. Also, as senhor Alves will soon find out, he is part of a rag-tag team of misfits and journeymen who will have a job on their hands to consolidate their place as Scotland’s third best side.

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  13. You’re an awfy bhoy, Phil. Lang may yet lum reek! Still no word on the industrial tribunals from Warburton et al?

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  14. The media will portray that as Alves having such a deep love for the Queens XI that he took a paycut to play for them…

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  15. Scheidt and Bruno Alves cannot be put into the same category except perhaps “foreign” and “Portuguese speaking”. When you look at what they have achieved on the pitch they operate in completely different worlds.
    It would be nice to think that Alves will struggle through the Scottish winter but that will be entirely down to climate. Scheidt’s struggle with the climate on the other hand, would have paled into insignificance compared to his struggle to cope owing to his complete lack of footballing ability. Scheidt played like he sounded. Alves is a big hard nosed, uncompromising centre back who could feasibly make a success of the SPFL.
    Let’s not write him off until we have seen what he has to offer. Leaving his foot in will often be missed by Scotland’s finest officials. The SPFL might have been designed for his (lack of) talents. However to be a success he will need to surrounded by more than competent team mates. On the evidence presented so far this season, he might find competent team mates thin on the ground.

    Reply

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