The Dear Leader speaks to The People.

The latest statement from Mr David Cunningham Kim Jong-un was probably meant to soothe The People and it probably worked in that regard.

If it was also intended to silence to clamour to strip the tainted titles from the deceased club then it has almost certainly achieved the opposite effect!

You can read the entire statement here.

There are many jaw-dropping assertions within the statement.

However, it becomes surreal when it is compared to his stated opinions in 2012:

“With regard to EBTs, I was on the board so I have to take some responsibility.

“And I follow the logic of the argument that if we lose the tax case then we probably gained some competitive advantage.

“I believe that, on behalf of myself and most of the board members who were with me and probably agree with me, that we should apologise for that.”

(Dave King. June 2012)

You can read the piece here.

Compare that with today’s statement:

“Whether the scheme was in place or not, or whether it survived tax scrutiny or not, made no difference whatsoever to the playing squad of the Club during that period and hence had no impact on the performance on the pitch. We won all of our titles fair and square.”

This could only get more mental if the statement had been read out by an elderly Korean lady.

All the way from South Africa, an Inter-Continental Bullshit Message.

Of course, the officially approved outlets will relay the Dear Leader’s wise words with unquestioning obedience.

This makes The People happy.

Dear reader, do you still wonder why I often refer to this site as a Samizdat?

You really shouldn’t.

Not after today.

Discover Phil’s dramatic play Rebellion