Last night Sevco were battered at Tynecastle.
The entire omnishambles could have been scripted to underline the main thrust of my piece yesterday.
It was a screenplay that didn’t spare on the schadenfreude.
Long before the final whistle, most of the visiting fans had shown the Dunkirk Spirit.
As regular readers here will be aware, there was a high-Level campaign against Ian Cathro when he was hired by Hearts.
The 4-1 thumping was a smooth hipster response, and the experiment is clearly starting to yield positive results.
The Tynecastle side was in cruise control halfway through the second period despite the fact that Sevco had the Six Million Pound Man in midfield.
Now if the Engine Room Subsidiary actually had a player of that quality, like Scott Sinclair, then it could have tipped the balance.
Emerging from the transfer window Sevco heavily rely on to veterans and neither Clint Hill nor Kenney Miller has so far been offered new deals for next season.
If any of The People believe that failure to re-sign these guys is anything to do with a lack of money, then I can’t help them.
Actually, no one can.
Any new investor in the Holding Company Vehicle must be prepared to give away tens of millions of pounds before they employ one new footballer for Sevco.
It is vital to buy out Ashley and start with a new retail deal.
It still has six years to run and will cost £4m per annum of that notice period.
The stadium could require £20m spent on it and then also add in the rental cost of acquiring another venue while the work in ongoing.
Only then could money go into the squad.
Some of the ‘Onerous Contracts’ mentioned by Graham Wallace in the spring of 2014 haven’t gone away you know.
Remember that pesky £278k per month?
I returned to the source of that scoop this week.
He said to me that if someone were able to drill down into the “other operating expenses”, then they might well find it there.
Meanwhile Celtic played the second strongest team in the country.
The Champions took to the field with no recognised striker and four key players missing.
It wasn’t winning ugly, far from it, but it was a highly professional 1-0 victory.
Once more the contrast between the biggest club in Scotland and Sevco is an exercise in cruelty.
During the last transfer window, Celtic was willing to go to £9m for one player while rebuffing substantial offers for the likes of Craig Gordon and Kieran Tierney.
Only in the rarefied atmosphere of the sports desks was this season ever going to be a contest between the Parkhead club and the Engine Room Subsidiary.
If I didn’t know better, I would think that these chaps were on drugs when they came up with this shite.
Of course, The People lapped it up at the time.
They believed this pish.
Some hallucinogenic substances they were reading convinced them that they were “going for 55”.
There’s some bad shit out on the street man.
I’m telling ya!
If symptoms persist then, please consult your dealer.
For the avoidance of doubt, their prescient tip for the player of the year is still owed a couple of hefty tranches from Sevco.
Once he is paid in full, I suspect Monsieur Barton to be more forthcoming as there was no confidentiality agreement.
That should be entertaining.
We’ve all seen this zombie movie several times since the premiere of Sevco in 2012.
The thing is the production values just aren’t what they used to be at the Ibrox studios.
In fairness, the cast of thousands are still there, but they’re just extras milling around without any direction.
Moreover, there are certainly no stars on the lot.
The reality is that their beloved four-year-old institution is now in a dogfight for second place.
That really is the height of their ambitions.
Simply the second best.
That’s actually the best that FC Begbie can expect for a long time ahead.
It’s enough to get you back on heroin…
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Apparently after a non stop barrage of begging letters to the newly crowned President of the United Shitstates DT has decided to send in an Elite Unit of Navy Seals on Armed Forces Day on a fact finding mission to find out what is going on at the Crumbledome…I mean what could possibly go wrong?
I really cannot see Barton ever dishing out the dirt on his Ibrox stay.
He was there long enough to realise telling the peepul the truth is not conducive to having a trouble free life.
There is the argument that not even the paid tipsters believed their predictions but their tripe helped to shift season tickets – so job done. Even future manager hopeful tipped Sevco for second above his current outfit. Wonder how they will double twist their reasoning for next season.
Keep it up Phil excellent peice.
Three Points:
1) Warburton ( soon to be toast ) took The Gardeners shambolic team and turned them into league winners ( albeit, the 2nd tier ) but it was a league that neither McCoists or his successors looked like they were able to get the best from. Worth remembering that McCall haven taken the lowly Motherwell to 2nd in the SPL too!!!! The magic hat has elevated this 4 year old club to 2nd in the top professional league in Scotland in their first ever year in the big league, with lets face it, relatively little cash, no backing, little experience and not much of a team. The funny bit is….THE BLAME HIM AND WANT RID OF HIM. I suspect he’s the best they will have for a LONG time.
2) Sevco are actually helping Celtic win the league by taking points off Aberdeen. I wouldn’t have been close this season regardless but with Aberdeen the only serious threat to Celtic for many a year then taking points a season off them helps Celtics cause no end.
3) They were never the people
just go back to sleep!
That was a good laugh. ‘FC Begbie’. Lol.
Was wondering about that 278k and the Sevco Triangle …
p.s. Thought Begbie was a Hibbee?
Begbie has a lot in common with the mighty record breaking Rangers….neither actually exists.
I live in Glasgow. I know a few Begbie’s. Agree with the other part bout the deady bears.
Been looking forward to reading your article all day now feet up and loving it ..the “poor people” walking or running away last night well!!! thought they don’t do “walk away”great result to Hearts and surviving within budget and getting a good few players in January transfer window unlike sevco Mr D Johnston must be sick ” am sure king will invest in next transfer window”no Derek you been saying that in last 4 transfer windows !!!and your full BULL SHIT and we know ..you know it ..and Chris Sutton knows it your a shameless Chearleader for Dave King (he a CROOK)however the Daily Rangers league winners forecast there a bunch Useless not fit for purpose reporters and that’s why a read you and no that toilet paper guff in Glasgow …And to Finnish of Poor Mark Warbutton if he wasn’t on drugs and psychological help before he took on a sinking ship he be in Leverndale Psychiatric Hospital after we hump 5-0 in paradise and Administration should follow shortly after …donation made cheers Phil xx
Is that them deadly street blues doing the rounds again, Phil?
This is a fine piece indeed, Phil, not a word wasted (as it were …)
On another note, there’s a strong critique by Gus MacPherson, of all people, on the dreadful refereeing standards in Scotland and the haughty attitude of the SFA in ignoring them.
I normally wouldn’t post a link to any MSM nonsense, as I only read it when there’s a laugh to be had, but this is well worth a look, as he brutally exposes the multiple failings at the top of Scottish football.
http://www.eveningtimes.co.uk/sport/spfl/15047890.Gus_MacPherson_says___39_arrogant__39__SFA_not_interested_in_concerns_over_refereeing_standards/
‘“One meeting a year, just because you have to, doesn’t sort anything. They’re not interested in our opinion and that’s the bottom line.”’
For the media who lifts things from this site
Today i think everyone who has had to listen and put up with the bullshit should be entitled to just have a right good fucking laugh, when you hear one on the radio moaning just laugh, this is what comes from cheating and taking the public for mugs, Rangers were liquidated that means they died, they are not the old club thats why players could TUPE, no more bullshit we are laughing at you media how stupid do you feel when you live the lie and your kids ask does that not mean dead dad my teacher taught me liquidation means dead, hahahahahaha trapped in a lie, brilliant.
Phil,
Living in Kent I never have to come across the Daily Retard,but did they really publish those ‘predictions’? Defies belief.
An enjoyable result last night and,as always,your blog is an informative read.
Just sent a long overdue donation.
Keep up the good work.
Many thanks
One of your bestest Phil. A great read.
Funny that as the days are drawing out, for Sevco and the Sevconians, the night’s are drawing in.
Lovin it.
Cheers
That mention of the £278k is intriguing…
From what I saw Sevco were hammered last night and Mr Warburton seemed utterly bemused by the experience. Not least in his comment that Sevco “don’t lose 4-1”.
Oh dear…
If I may, here are my thoughts on that…
https://theclumpany.wordpress.com/2017/02/02/when-sevco-didnt-do-a-4-1-defeat/
And about a potential fire sale of top talent…
https://theclumpany.wordpress.com/2017/02/01/selling-sevcos-top-talent/
Is the bread man toast?
….Daryl! Hi, it’s Keith….looking forward to the new job?….yeh, me too….listen…..
Just for arguements sake, if a club that had previously gone into administration found itself in the same position again, what would the points reduction be?
Really? The full whack? And how would that affect their entry into European competition?
Mmmmmm….no, fully understand….yeah, Ian Cathro is a breath of fresh air….take care…watch your back!
Was wondering what had happened the Frenchmans cash if hes finally paid in full that’s £3m divided by 8 games is £375,000 per game not bad for an aging midfielder who then strolls back to Burnley those clubs he “rocks up at ” are gonny need big tills
You missed a post title opportunity Phil if you are going to parody ‘ film and literature’
To mis-quote England’s great Bard…Yesterday’s matches marked the close of ‘The Window of Discontent’.
I doubt however Mr Warburton is going to be ‘A Man For All Seasons’
The league will be won by St Patricks Day. Possibly even when Sevco bring their lavatory demolition expertise back to Celtic Park on March 12th.
I hope the spell didn’t put down a deposit on a helicopter for May. We do know how close they and those ‘in the know’ thought this season was going to be.
HH
I thought there might have been help for a “Poor Window’s Son” during January…
I remember how it felt to hear Murray and his “for every fiver” statement and couldn’t understand how it was possible given the fact that we had a bigger ground. Karma’s a bitch isn’t it. Small donation made. Keep fighting the good fight Phil.
Many thanks Brian
It’s Aberdeen’s second place to lose. If they win all their games then it’s theirs.
Of course, Hearts could easily catch up.
I wouldn’t like to believe Keith J is on a level 5 agenda but he’s knifing Warburton today. Telling the Gullibillies how to think.
Keith needs to think two stages ahead. Nobody wants Warburton’s job. Get rid of Warburton and appoint who? McCoist?
It was nice of Cathro to take his time bedding in his nine new players.
Celtic need an emergency Striker. SFA dispensation out of transfer window? There must be an EPL Striker sitting on a bench. Would Celtic have won in Aberdeen last night? Or at Hearts? Is winning at Ibrox certain?
Brendan Rodgers is at strategic fault here. He’s just had a transfer Window. We are on a treble Year and an unbeaten run. He has no Striker.
Those Sports writers predictions were shameful season ticket sales strategies. Sevco to win Premiership and Scottish cup. WTF. Lies. Men of no personal integrity.
McGee would jump at the job if they could afford to pay off Motherwell.
Isn’t he a bit old to be Celtic’s 3rd striker now?
Hi Phil,
And thanks for that big dollop of shadenfreude,it really is appreciated.
However,I’m sure that the match took place at Celtic Park,a wee oversight there Mish Funnypenny.T2 was a scream,although there were a few serfcovites not laughing,I laughed louder,;just to make up for their silence.
Roll on March,with BMAs battalion of lawyers,tweet-tweet barton,HMRC all lining up to take a serious pop at the toilet-trashers,well,it really is gonna be one helluva St.Paddys Day.Roll on ‘The Ides of March’
Tonight BBC-4 9pm.British History’s Biggest Fibs.That programme is really gonnae ROCK THEIR WORLD.Trump that serfco.
Thanks again Phil.HH✅⚽
What a time to be alive. I remember how I felt when Murray came out with his for every £5 comment and I couldn’t fathom how they could afford to spend double what my team could. Karma is a bitcisnt it 🙂 Small donation made. Keep up the good fight Phil
Superb piece phil really enjoyed reading that
Their downfall is the fact almost every media organisation has a bandwagon of Sevco cheerleaders telling the world how great the ‘same club’ is at every opportunity. Imagine getting excited about winning 3 games in a row! Yes they went there, check. Banging on about how great Sevco were when they beat a bottom table team, check. Putting ‘Old Firm’ into every headline to try and somehow make Sevco relevant. Even the Sevco supporters do not want to be associated with Celtic anymore. I have a few genuine Sevco friends and they don’t want to know. They have excepted they are shite and really don’t want the gloating from the Celtic fans. One even told me before the last game he would be happy enough with a 2-0 loss. He saw so afraid it was going to be a 5 6 or even a 7-0.
But of course the media cheerleaders will have us believe something completely different
They Were The People .
I’m sure DK would go down a blocked toilet for a dropped ten bob bit.
Thanks Fergus. You set these wheels in motion and I hope you are enjoying it as much as we are. HH.