Last night the Amazing Castore Brothers decided to land in Govan to distribute some comfort to their credulous customers.
The statement was put out via this poor embattled chap.
If we are talking about the marvel of things floating upwards effortlessly, this individual has had a levitating laptop over the last couple of weeks.
He’s in my thoughts…
However, despite the little had striking Statement O’clock at Sevco, not all of the Ibrox klanbase appeared to be buying it.
Of course, the breathless announcement last May was the easy part.
No one had seen the gear or felt the quality.
For the avoidance of doubt, there was zero chance of any journalistic scrutiny from the Stenography Corps.
So, once they were announced, it was up up and away!
Now their beautiful balloon is leaking hot air like a sports desk in Glasgow.
The fans now actually have their quintessentially British mitts on the merch, and they can see that they’ve been had.
For the avoidance of doubt, it is way too late for the dignified dirigibles in the tabloids to walk back from this.
They gushed about the Castore deal back in May without asking a single probing question.
Humour is the default setting of the Celtic end and they haven’t missed on this one.
It might be useful to provide some historical context to the Castore catastrophe.
When the Gallant profiteers bought the body parts of Rangers in 2012, they had one thing in mind, and that was the Initial Public Offering (IPO) on the Stock Exchange.
Consequently, everything had to look top class for the market.
To that end, Charlie and the boys signed up Puma as kit suppliers and Sports Direct as a retail partner.
Now, both those big companies had contracts with Sevco that heavily favoured them and not the new club.
That did not bother Charlie and the boys as they had their eye on the IPO and those naughty Onerous Contracts.
Since then Off Licence Putsch has tried to get deals that were beneficial to the club going forwards.
Unfortunately, their treatment of Puma and then Hummel left them with nowhere else to go.
That is why they had to make a bizarre and embarrassing public appeal for a kit supplier last February.
This was when the Amazing Castore Brothers decided to land on Edmiston Drive.
They were met with gasps at their daring.
How could these two young dashing men float towards the heavens as if by magic?
The windbags on the sports desks swooned.
Alas, we now have the evidence that it as all a magic lantern show to fool the gullible.
Plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose.
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Remain committed to delivering BEST IN CLASS. Oh my sides you couldn’t make it up
“Remain committed to delivering BEST IN CLASS”., . Oh ma sides you couldn’t make that one up.
The Amazing Castore Brothers sounds like a circus act……. 🤔 Oh wait!
Hope you are all pleased with yourselves! That is the best school jumper they could afford.
Credit and respect to Tonto 67 for this little beauty :
It’s just a black school jumper with the labels frayed and torn
By the careless whisk of many a Turkish breeze
An old school top that’s so battle-stained and worn
And stretches almost threadbare at the sleeves
A John Brown belt is a statement slurred n staunch
A Trophy cabinet that’s been empty many’s a day (well since the launch)
The MSM claimed Ashley freedom
Oh the Orcs they did believe them
And bought the black market jumpers knocked fae C & A
Global Manufacturing and Purchasing of quality commodities from multiple sources is bread and butter to even average retailers
Absolute Consistency and validation of Design , tight raw materials specifications and inbound quality testing , Consistent manufacturing processes with inbuilt quality checks and then rigorous outbound shipment QA .. basic basic stuff
There can be 4or 5 sources of supply ..it doesn’t matter the big boys have this down to a T With 6 sigma type quality processes
TRFC management obviously have absolutely no clue whatsoever about the basics here and are out of their depth and of course production of small volume niche goods eg Castore is a solar system not a planet away from high volume production of multiple models . Castore cant possibly have the infrastructure or Quality volume supply chains to cope
This will be a Castorephe for quite some time until some big boy fixes it … months and months away!
Desperate men in a desperate situation
If this was CFC it would be front page and Headline National TV news
Instead as you say The media here are so infested WithTRFC fans they will try to bury this !!
Call me old fashioned / pedantic but,
ending that lengthy statement above with a preposition, (“of”)
simply undermines the total bollox content which came, erm, before. 🙂
With this minimum quality / maximum overcharging scam – even the blindly, staunch loyal can clearly see that they’re being taken for a ride by the Blue Room.
I believe Churchill once wrote that ending a sentence with a preposition is a barbarism “up with which I shall not put!”
Two comments really and both as serious as this situation allows.
First of all, ‘Beahon’? Does that name not have an Irish ring to it? And the photograph, looks like a lovely, honest, open smile all the way from Galway. Are these guys not just straightforward 5th columnista taking the mick? Pardon the phraseology.
Phil! Seriously but. The klan need you. All of the work, the research, the clarity, the most excellent professional journalism is being utterly wasted on us, channeled into humour and entertainment on our behalf. You are a journalist. They need you. Change your name. Phillip – good monarchist associations there but surname?? Needs radical rethink. How about Giles-son? Join one of the vomit sites as a mere commentator, build up credibility and then relaunch this site from somewhere incredibly credible; Mauchline, Fort William, Larkhall …. No need to alter the material at all. We’ll still ‘follow’ you and be entertained. They will follow you and be educated. They’ll turn away from sternographics and the world might be a better place.
Just taken my frontline daughter for a Covid test. So this entry might just bear witness to the amount of drink consumed since getting back home. But then again, maybe the drive to the testing station was a ‘Road to Damascus’ experience. Keep up the good work HH Lewis
The only problem with that idea Lewis is they’re site administrators only allow comments which stick to the group think. Have you never wondered why you never hear any dissenting voices on ff and thought they can’t all be that stupid. Er can they?
“Be a hon”. Can they even spell?
In passing – Difficult to have any sympathy for The Rangers SLO Greg Marshall – aka as @WATP_Greg – who’s only real qualification for the job was being staunch enough to belong to the family who owned The Loutsden Tavern.
Hi Phil,
I know your ire is directed primarily at the stenography corps who choose to sup at the table set by the Gallant Profiteers (as you describe them); but please allow us some schadenfreude at the klan who continue to swallow swallow the nonsense proffered by those gentlemen on the sports desks.
Surely, some of them would take a step back from their superiority complex and think, “that bloody Fenian from Donegal is right time after time; maybe, just maybe, on this occasion he is in fact correct“.
To much hilarity it would seem that, no, they do not. Each article by yourself is met with derision and disdain with laughable accusations of “obsession” etcetera; until of course in the fullness of time you are proven correct.