Being cruel to caravans

Ok, I will admit it.

I was shocked to learn that someone at Sevco is a grass!

The caravan decided to take a wee trip to Nevada, but someone couldn’t keep schtum about it.


Of course, the…err… “Exclusive” that there is something of an ethnic split in the Sevco dressing room was revealed to readers here back in June.

In the Herald today one intrepid chap told the world that at Sevco “…finances are ok again…”

Oh dear.

Oh dear, oh dear…

There are elements of the Sevco story that must be like a Greek tragedy for The People.

Therefore, I think a few words from Aeschylus are appropriate at this juncture:

“There is no pain so great as the memory of joy in present grief.”

I don’t think it would surprise anyone now if Pedro decided to exit stage left from this farce.

Of course, he and his imported backroom team are all on three-year deals.

However, I’m sure that their payoffs will be no problem as the chap in the Herald today stated that finances were “ok”.

Dear reader, I don’t want to be a grass, but finances are anything but ok at Sevco.

What appeared in the Herald today was in the  “off the radar” category.

In fact, it is an even better fable than the one about the caravan in Vegas being led by a clown.

Now, I’m not saying that the chap made this up and then passed it off as news because that would be a major allegation to make against any journalist.

I just don’t think that he has very good sources at Ibrox.

Must try harder…

Oh, and one other thing:

Last night for Celtic beat Anderlecht 3-0 in Belgium.

Now that is real and I’m more than ok about it.

Celtic’s first goal was of genuine Champions League quality.

Three touches from Ntcham to KT to Griff.

The pass from the young Frenchman was sublime and I love an early low cross driven with accuracy.

It is the sign of a proper football team.

The first time finish was deadly.

After that breakthrough, the biggest club in Scotland grew into the match.

Paddy Roberts was rewarded for his agile prescience when he pounced on some Sevco like defending from the home team.

The third goal from Scott Sinclair could prove crucial in the head to head calculations.

In the post-match interviews, the man from Antrim called it straight like the real professional he is.

The contrast between Celtic and Sevco is becoming crueller by the day.

For the avoidance of doubt, I’m ok with cruelty.

37 thoughts on “Being cruel to caravans”

  1. That’s the 2nd 20+ pass combo goal this season already, in fact, I believe both have been 27 passes! Let’s not forget the FIFA goal of the year nominee last season and I think there was another also? I’m sure some sevco/PSG fans can enlighten us as they are watching ever closely at our side! Hope they are ok?

    Brand of footy vs brand of ethnicity!

    Rings of the 90’s but without doping of any kind.

  2. What’s the problem with Miller being sent to the youths?

    Warburton did it with Joey Barton last year.

    The press crucified Barton and backed The bread man.

    Surely Kenny will now get the hard extra PT training at 6am to increase his fitness?

  3. Pedro claiming to be called the elephant in previous employment…..there’s an elephant in the room no doubt about that just no one wants to see or speak about it

  4. So Pedro is officially on the SMSM’s cliche bingo card for involuntary resignation.

    Seems his only purpose was to secure the bears’ ST money with the excitement of the exotic and and the unknown, full of timmy-humbling potential and largely unresearchable for those without Google. Nothing like a bit of off-the-radar excitement to forget third place and a one point per match defecit to the champions last season. Then amigos, without the cost of a DoF, all you need to do is find some overlooked, no-money-down Latin diamonds in the rough to integrate with the local donkeys to win Europa millions to fill the Ibrox finacial black hole until we can come up with a REALLY cunning plan for next season.


    I love it when plan comes together.

    So who will be the next piece of collateral damage to grace the Ibrox dugout?

    I see Skeletor is making a come back – perfect colour too . . .

  5. Kenny Miller sent to train with youth squad omg wtf lol pmsl ?!?! 🙂

    “Oh my God! They killed Kenny!” with moderate youthful pace in training.

  6. hi Phil,

    I’ve been following your page since the collapse of Rangers back in 2012. I look forward to it and I check regularly for updates.

    I think you are a proper journalist and I very much respect your work. I also own a copy of downfall which is an excellent read.

    However, without being disrespectful, I would like to asks you a favour. I am aware that if I didn’t enjoy reading your articles I don’t have to read them. I understand that and you shouldn’t feel any obligation to change your writing style. I am finding the term ‘for the avoidance of doubt’ increasingly grating. I would like to ask you to try to omit it from some of your articles as it is becoming a bit tedious. It’s like watching an Arnie film and waiting for him to say ‘i’ll be back’. Please don’t become a characature of yourself


  7. Another excellent piece Phil.Last nights STV reportage post Celtics emphatic away win in europe was read as
    “Celtic kick started their stuttering european campaign by beating struggling Anderlecht”

    Good to know how much its hurting.

  8. In the history of Scottish football Celtic and Rangers have vied to be top dog.(thats Oldco and Newco)
    Things can change quickly as we have seen many times before.
    However we are now in a place that has never been visited before.
    On and off the park the gap is huge, with Celtic laying down plans for the hotel complex whilst across the city losses continue to mount and loans are required to keep the lights on.
    The Celtic board have a long term plan and in Brendan we have a high quality coach who, apart from a couple of additions, he has developed and improved players well beyond what most Celtic fans could have dreamt of.
    There is no leadership across the city, the foundations of the Ibrox club are built on sand, and that sand is shifting.
    This is David Murray’s legacy to the fans. Never spent a penny of his own money, why should he when all he had to do was pick up the phone to his mates at HBOS.
    Much of the chaos in the latter stages of his reign was exposed during the Craig Whyte trial. Rangers was his calling card and he wined and dined the great and the good who passed the sniff test.
    Who will ever forget his for every £5 Celtic spend Rangers will spend £10 jibe………we now know that the £10 was borrowed.
    Rangers fans want to blame Celtic, SFA, the other clubs, Papal conspiracy, HMRC for where they are today, and will be for the forseeable future.
    Only one person is responsible, step forward SDM, still clinging somehow to his knighthood despite crashing his companies, owing hundreds of millions to HBOS and leaving a hole in the MIM pension fund.
    It’s amazing how he’s escaped a mauling from the Scottish media. Perhaps he still has friends in high places?

  9. I gather this month’s salaries WERE paid. Any word on whether or not a loan was required? Out of curiosity, what is the monthly wage bill approximately? Anyone give a figure?

  10. I’m fascinated how Rangers fans have a cult-like trust in their superiors within their sub-culture – despite mountains of evidence that they are neither superior nor worthy of trust.

    Most cults require new members to sign over all possessions and denounce their families.

    I can well imagine that when RIFC fails, a call will go out for all real Rangers fans to buy into a fan ownership scheme* for Third Rangers to stop 20IAR – sell your car – re-mortgage your house – pawn your laptop, PS4, Iphone – let your kids go hungry and barefooot – and if your family don’t like it then cut them off as haters.

    Or Rangers fans could just start to absorb the facts of the situation, break free from the cult, and see that you are being manipulated and exploited by a criminal gang living the VIP lifestyle on your money – a lifestyle you will never afford.

    * fan ownership is the only option for raising the cash needed, because no City firm would touch another IPO. A one time gift of £3,000 per season ticket holder is what is needed to re-float the good ship Ibrox and set it on course for routine SPFL and Champions League success.

  11. By no means am I a Celtic fan but that was a great 1st goal. Tierney is a heck of a player.
    I actually thought that was one of Celtics weaker performances that I have seen in the last couple seasons. Very sloppy in centre mid with passing going astray.

    Think just before half time the stats came up saying Celtic had completed over 100 passes more than Anderlecht. Impressive away from home against a team that pushed Man united all the way last year in the Europa league.

    Out of curiosity, if Celtic were to win the Europa league, and of course win the premiership, what is the situation with European spots? Would 2nd take the qualifying round spots that Celtic would normally have got?

  12. Listening to the commentary on Anderlecht vs Celtic, does anyone else think Chris Sutton has gone over to the “dark side”? I realised the reason his voice gets so high pitched is because it has to squeeze past Rob Maclean’s sphincter on the way out. In the post match talk, he tosses in a trite anti Sevco comment which is supposed to make up for it. Maclean’s ” Anderlecht must believe in themselves” with twenty minutes to go was the worst I heard in years and allowed to pass unchallenged.

  13. Phil,
    Always enjoy your blog. Any new play’s in the pipeline?

    Twenty eight passes led up to the first goal. T’was a thing of beauty!


  14. I see Pedro proclaimed he won’t be a goldfish in the goldfish bowl, (sorry to say Pedro you don’t get to make that choice) and is now comparing himself to an elephant. I just hope Pedro doesn’t see himself as a little teapot, short and stout and then proceed to put some pencils up his nose, underpants on his head or we may have to declare him barking…Pedro along with the Herald story is so full of contradictions that we may have to judge they operate in a alternate universe….
    As one observer commented in todays paper “If Pedro is an elephant then he should pack his trunk and get out of the circus”, I agree, the great white elephants time is up. I would say those from another “Level” have put his head on the block firmly…

    On the bright side, wakened this morning at 6 as usual and had that nice comforting feeling that comes with a Celtic victory..It going to be another great day living the Celtic way..

  15. I glanced through the Herald piece, and thought that if a lawyer for one Fergus McCann were to read it, the Herald might be in deep Limpopo. You cannot go around comparing financial geniuses with convicted fraudsters. Somebody at the Herald should look up ‘defamation’ just to get a flavour of the trouble they could be in.

  16. We all want Pedro to stay and why not, he seems like a decent fellow to me. The Problem lies with Traynor, He has fed Pedro the ‘we are the people and nae green boots pish’ and poor old Ped fell for it hook line and sinker. Now what we are witnessing is Traynor covertly setting his press pack hounds out to try and destroy the man mentally in the hope that he jumps before he’s pushed. Why..? Because they cant afford to sack him.

    This time last year Warburton held a conclave after a Celtic gubbing that resulted in a major rammy and marquee signing Barton was never seen again. Biggest earner off the pay roll. Roll on a year and marquee signing #2 Alves has disappeared already (pay as you play?).. and after another celtic gubbing another conclave decended into another major rammy.? I’m starting to see a pattern here.

    Pedro will go at some point, of that there is no doubt. Keep an eye on the Traynor’s media hounds driving him insane to the point he Jumps. It’s already started. Dig the heels in Pedro. Show the SMSM some of those Matador balls they liked to talk about when you first arrived.

  17. More Financial crisis pish from the King of Fables.
    As for Celtic my god you beat a team in crisis and all of a sudden you think your Mhob are world beaters again. ?
    You are the cuckolds of European football. Paying for the humiliation of watching your loved one get pumped by the Alpha male

  18. That’s Euro football after Xmas almost guaranteed, one of the things on Brendan’s bucket list.

    Great news that the Ibrox club finances are in good shape. Does that mean that there will be no trading warning note inserted by the auditors in the forthcoming financials?
    Despite the many assurances from Pedro and his squad that everyone was pulling together and united as the best squad in Scotland, it would appear that someone has been telling porkies.
    There are as many leaks from the Ibrox dressing room as there is from the boardroom.
    Has anyone put Pedro right with regards to young McCrorie, announced as part of the Scotland unders squad for next week? Last week he was keen to pull the lad out so that he could travel to the States for the glamour friendly against Benfica ‘ s reserves which according to the Portoguese sage would be of more benefit to the player.
    The current organisation playing out of Ibrox is built on sand. There is no leadership, on or off the park. One more bad result on the park, Hamilton on Friday?, will see Level 5 given reign to let their media dogs off the leash.
    The upcoming financials will be put under severe scrutiny and if nothing else will reveal how much the RRM have ‘invested’ in the club/company/thingy, an ‘investment’ that is looking increasingly more like a donation as their is no visible means of repayment.
    A Share issue is out of the question given King’s toxicity in the finance markets, never mind the cold shoulder on it’s way.
    Are the assets free of claim from a 3rd party, do the RRM have security over the stadium and Murray Park?
    There’s a shit storm on it’s way, buckle up.

  19. “I love an early low cross driven with accuracy.” Too right. Great goal. Of course that type of performance will add value to Celtic players. Fits perfectly with the model of developing young players and selling on for a substantial profit. I’m sure the same can be said for Peña et al.

  20. Brother Pedro and his imports….Mexicans and whatever….surely RC’s……and if so could this have anything to do with the dressing room crisis?
    I think we should be told and forget what happens in Vegas.

      1. Yes, I gather a number of their players are experiencing difficulties with even the most rudimentary English.

        …and the foreign lads are no’ 100% yet either. ; )

  21. Phi,
    Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind.
    Maybe one day they will thank you.
    I wouldn’t hold my breath if I were you!!
    Us we just love it !!

  22. The saying ‘sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind’ springs to mind. Lets be ‘kind’ to them, let’s be very ‘kind’ indeed.

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