So we might not be alone after all.
I have no idea what intelligent life would make of Planet Fitba.
Moreover, if we sent our equivalent of Voyager what would it include?
Here are my suggestions:
An audio of the tiny minority at Ibrox belting out their fascist anthem about Billy Fullerton. Of course, they actually sound like most of the stadium, but we are reliably informed from the press box that it is only an unrepresentative handful.
We could also include reportage of a world exclusive from an award-winning journalist about a billionaire about to buy an ailing football club.
The club in question that died because the chap wasn’t that wealthy after all.
However, everyone pretends that the said death did not take place.
There could also be a video of John Beaton deploying dignified common sense apropos Alfredo Morelos.
After a decade of looking in on Planet Fitba, I’m rather convinced that a version of the Fermi Paradox is in operation when it comes to sports desk coverage of matters Ibrox.
Any intelligent life there simply doesn’t last long.
The crushing weight of “Old Firm” orthodoxy means that if conformity is not reasserted then the non-conforming journalist just leaves.
On the subject of other planets, I do not know if Celtic will derive any benefit over Sevco after the winter the training camps are over.
Celtic are in five star Dubai and the basket of assets could only afford a package holiday to Tenerife.
My information is that Mr Gerrard would have preferred something more akin to the standards he was accustomed to at Liverpool.
In terms of facilities, I think to say that both Glasgow teams are currently on different planets.
Consequently, I was recently told by a reliable source that Sevco’s intergalactic PR guru was very keen to get ahead of the narrative on this, especially after the summer debacle.
I think he got his wish with this hard-hitting report.
Across the city, Rodgers will undoubtedly be pleased that the forward areas of his squad have been augmented.
It is the back four that now requires attention and, of course, he knows that.
Fail to prepare, prepare to fail…
Celtic failed in the summer due to Heated Driveway Hubris.
Another failure in this transfer window could see the league title being surrendered.
In a parallel universe, the CEO’s bonus has already been calculated for that calamity.
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The boche are passing photos of the sevco training camp about. They show sweaty players being physically sick, or lying on the ground holding their heads etc.
This is claimed to be evidence of “jock wallace standards” in Gerrards training regime.
Turns out it was just from the ropey breakfast at the 1* B&B they are staying at.
May as well get this off ma chest here cos it’s been eating away at me for ages to be honest. Newco beat us convincingly in the last Glasgow Derby. Not because they played brilliantly as some have reported, but because we played so badly. That was, without a doubt, the worst team performance, yes team performance i have been unfortunate to have witnessed in i don’t know how long. Which got me asking the question…. can the whole team, play as badly as that again. I like to think not.
Our performances in the transfer windows recently have let us down badly and there’s no getting away from that but some of the hype surrounding newco has been way over the top.Brendans made mistakes too and that should not be denied. But we all have to keep a grip on reality and trust that our board, manager and players are still more than capable of seeing off the challenge of the rest of the pack, including the desperados across the city. That’s not to be dismissive or complacent regarding the challenge, but ffs we lost 1-0 to a shite football team and you would think it was the end of the world.Newco have improved along with a lot of our challengers. But the confidence and the belief is still there that whilst we are no longer the invincibles, we will still be too strong for the tribute act and the rest of our main challengers. Hail hail everyone and keep the faith.
A bit disingenuous to put down the Tenerife facilties. Stayed there in December and it is one of the finest hotels on the island. Passed the training complex and it looked excellent too. OK their flights may have been cheaper – whoop de doop. Both locations can easily fill the remit of good training, good accommodation, warmth from the sun and some relaxation.
Morelos was involved in a series of flash-points during the ‘Old Firm’ derby at Ibrox as he clashed with Scott Brown, Anthony Ralston and Ryan Christie at different points of ‘rangers’ 1-0 win.
That’s ‘hunspeak’ for the duffalo booted Scott Brown in the chuckies, stamped all over Anthony Ralston and punched Ryan Christie in the chucks.
All the above incidents were witnessed by referee John Beaton although he decided to take no action as he’d a £20 bet on a home win and was meeting up with his pals later in a rangers pub and didn’t fancy buying a pint for himself.
I’d imagine even aliens would struggle to believe all that has transpired since 2012 re.sevco,and who could blame them;for it is,or seems to be,a tall tale,a very,very tall tale.
Noo I’m wondering if aliens do fiction?
I could only get half way through that stv ‘report’ before I felt ‘the boaks’ coming on!
I’m no fan of the British trait of strutting around holiday locations wearing your football shirt like some sort of tribal advert ( I much prefer a low key approach of anonymity regarding my origin and allegiances )…
…. but the thought of turning up for a well earned break to find hordes of blue and orange clad huns temporarily populating the place would be truly stomach churning.
My commiserations to all decent folk unintentionally caught up in this ‘nightmare’. Unfortunately I don’t think it would be covered under most insurance policies. At least I’ve never noticed a ‘hun infestation’ clause in my annual cover.
As for the comparison of the two locations –
Perhaps Sevco are actually keeping within their means?
….and as for winter training camps in general…
I’m no fan of them. I’m of the view that pampering already pampered and privileged individuals in sunny climes doesn’t sharpen or harden them to the realities of the Scottish winter , the worst of which (as we know) will come after the winter break designed to avoid the worst of the weather.
In fact … after Celtics performance on 29th December , I would have been happy had it been announced that Dubai was cancelled and the squad would be spending 12 days running up and down Ayrshire beaches and sand dunes until they all realised how privileged they were and understood what playing for Celtic actually meant.
There was a time when playing for Celtic was ALL about playing for Celtic and hopefully winning medals. Then it became about money AND winning medals. More recently it’s been about money and a stepping stone to more money. The medals are a bonus if they come but not essential. It’s not about playing for Celtic any more – not for the majority.
It’s about money, more money and nothing else.
Sadly it’s a situation that we all know can never be reversed.
Tom Rogic, Calum McGregor, Ryan Christie, James Forrest and Keiran Teirney just 5 who prove it’s not about money playing for the hoops. I could probably include Nitcham and Edouard to bump it above a non majority from 7 definite starting 11
With those in mind I said ‘majority’
The issue is with squad not starting 11.
They ALL draw handsome wages.
It can be reversed.
Fan ownership with a view to improving the youth setup further and producing more home grown players who are at the Club for football reasons not financial ones.
The likes of McGregor Tierney Forrest are beacons who have worked hard to EARN the right to a better contract by putting in the years of graft to get into that position.
A fan controlled Celtic could find a better balance between what is needed in Footballing terms and what is needed in Finacnial Terms.
Are we really getting a proper bang for our buck?
European performances against Running costs would perhaps suggest not.
Bloated squads full of mediocre mercenaries is not the way forward for Clubs in our position.
The money when getting spent should be getting spent on proven quality and that proven quality in the positions where your Youth Setup is not producing the right level of player.
When was the last time we had a CB or Striker make it from the youth Setup?
Kennedy and Maloney?
Hail Hail
Pat Nevins’ Barnet; some good points, with exception of ‘rangers keeping within their means’.
They’ve been running almost seven years and by all accounts they’re £17.7 million in debt to soft loans from their directors.
That’s before they’ve signed the two EPL high rollers Jermaine Defoe & Steven Davis plus a couple of SPL players.
Living within their means would be day trips to Largs for their winter break.
The Lisbon Lions used to go to Seamill and train in ten Bob plimsole sannies.
A concept perhaps quite Alien to our modern day Footballers.
Quite a Discovery finding out our current wage bill is 46% larger than it was 2 Seasons ago and we have just added to it again by signing 3 attackers.
That is some serious Bucks Rodgers has had invested in his squad btw.
Meanwhile we have massive defensive issues at the back and a plethora or unused or unwanted players sat drawing wages.
The forces of darkness might be on a package holiday tae Butlins for all I care but the fact remains that after 20 odd League games they sit on the same points and won the last meeting between us both fairly comfortably.
I personally would have had our underperforming show ponies running up and down the sand dunes on the Ayrshire Coast freezing their hawmaws off than lapping it up in Luxury in Arabia to remind them that simply turning up isn’t all that is required to win these must win games.
I would send the following Space Cadets on a deep space probe to Ork
Compper Gamboa Hendry Bitton Mulumbu Kouassi and Hayes
Or as they shall now be referred to as Bleak 7
This might mean of course that Brendan could well Need Another Seven Acquisitions to replace them but hopefully not but I think it should be enough to see off the nearest Challenger.
I hope we secure our defenders of course but the longer this window goes on you do begin to wonder Is there anybody out there?
Sounds scarily like we were thinking and writing the same thing around the same time….
I’m reading a lot on Celtic blogs and elsewhere about Dubai being what’s needed right now and the sniggering at the Sevco cut-price option like where overpaid footballers get to enjoy a winter break has some weight in the outcome of the league…
I don’t agree.
It’s quite uncanny the way such trips have been accepted as the norm by pretty much every fan as if it was essential to the function of the team. Skint but adoring fans even prepared to wave them off at the airport and wish them well while freezing their own extremities off at home. All in the hope that they can come back and do what should have already been done up to December and the league title all but put to bed this season.
Instead we find ourselves level on points with a rival that shouldn’t be…. and with the bragging rights and accompanying media spout firmly in the grip and favour of the huns.
…, aww but the guys need a rest, some sunshine … a full frontal ego massage or two… then they’ll be back to finish the job.
We seem to be a minority in rejecting the ‘Dubai’ vibe but as we both know… the ‘big cup’ wasn’t won because Cesar and co got some r &r in the Middle East.
I wish there were a few more dissenting voices – but with other issues re. Celtic the few are not allowed to be heard.
…. but this is Celtic PLC 2019
Hotels, Conference Centres, Museums, Disco Lights, Dubai Camps, investing in other football clubs (gawd help us) etc etc
The fans of Celtic FC aren’t interested in this – they want success on the pitch.
We can see it fading away before our eyes!
(
I don’t think we are quite at the fading away stage yet Pat but the running costs at Celtic have ballooned over the last 2 years under Brendan.
We have a bloated squad brimming with underperforming (or in the case of some not even performing) pampered lightweights.
How much has the Dubai swarry set the Clumpany back?
What good is spending several weeks in Luxury in Dubai when you have to come back and roll yer sleeves up at Tynecastle or Pittodrie in January and February with a gale blowing and sleet battering yer well tanned Fizog?
Guys like wee Bertie and Buzzbomb must be looking on thinking wtaf?
You don’t reward failure in life.
Or at least you never used to.
Ibrox was abject failure both on the Park and on the touch lines let alone the headlines.
HH
I was actually thinking about the ‘actual’ costs for the Dubai trip..
Obviously the club have budgeted it in… but still has a monetary cost that I personally don’t feel either shows respect to the contributing supporters – stakeholders rather than shareholders – or actually improves the performance of the team.
Fag-packet arithmetic –
I’d imagine 1st class or business on emirates isn’t cheap. 2k plus
Decent hotel full board £150 a night pp even with a group deal , £5-100 a day between facilities and transport and other sundries.
I wouldn’t be surprised at £400 – £500 a day per person.
For 10 days with an entourage of 40 or more it could be at least a £200 k holiday.
I make it roughly 1 Celtic season ticket per day per player/ staff.. ( 400 of them)
I wonder if their ‘investment’ will be returned?
Bit harsh.Bitton, has just recovered from a long ,serious ,injury and may well be akin to signing a new player after the break.
Unless he’s had a miracle cure and comes back a better player than the one who got injured in the first place he will be another bench warmer in our bloated squad.
Give me McGregor,Ntcham or Christie over Bitton any day.
I can’t help wonder if December 29th was the performance Rodgers wanted to send a warning shot across the bows of Dermot and Lawell? Three signings in first week of the window suggests they learned something from last summer’s failings but defence – as has been the case for years now – still needs addressing.
Brendan messed up at Ibrox and it’s not the first time in the last few months this has been the case.
It was a tactical disaster and considering the guy in the opposite dugout has had minimal experience in Management at any level is a real worry.
Two left backs on the bench and he deploys our best Midfielder this Season at Left Back?
Nope not having that bud sorry.
It’s up there with Sinclair at Right Wingback and leaving 2 left sided players on the bench the other month.
Total tactical nonsense from the tinkerman.