Why Celtic hold all of the cards

At the time of the Off Licence Putsch in 2015, I wrote that Mr King would be a boon to the Sevco schadenfreude industry.

And so it has proved to be.

The £6m damp squib yesterday was not what The People wanted to hear.

They had been enthused over the weekend with hallucinatory consumer dreams apropos the likely transfer budget that would be given to Mr Gerrard.

Oh dear…

Regular readers of this site would not have been surprised to learn that there are no external investors on the horizon.

Consequently, Mr King had to give The People some tantalising prospect to hold onto as he headed back to South Africa.

He speculated that if Sevco could win just one title then Celtic would fold like “a pack of cards”.

I think the simile he was reaching for was a “house of cards”, but such nuances would be lost on The People.

For the record, I much preferred Ian Richardson’s Francis Urquhart to Kevin Spacey’s Frank Underwood.

The former dripped with Machiavellian authenticity.

I’m sure that there a few chaps in the Blue Room who now look at Mr King and think “FU”!

Of course Mr King has previous for this type of manipulative pish.

Tragically this transparent ruse seems to have worked on many who inhabit Quintessentially British message boards.

The inconvenient truth is that Celtic hold all of the cards on Planet Fitba.

The Parkhead club has developed a sustainable business model.

The football budget available to a Celtic manager is funded by either UCL Group Stages revenue or the sale of a player like Virgil van Dijk or Victor Wanyama.

Celtic’s scouting network seems to be able to consistently source young players who grow in value at Lennoxtown.

Moreover, three starts in the recent 9-0 aggerate battering of Sevco were academy graduates.

If Forrest, McGregor and Tierney were to be sold at the market price then they would probably realise more than the entire occupancy of the Sevco team bus.

That process is ongoing and I’m told that the next bright prospect in the Celtic Academy is a young Irish lad called Barry Coffey.

My information is that it was a personal intervention by Brendan Rodgers that sealed the deal and fought off interest from the likes of Chelsea.

The infrastructure that Celtic has for developing young talent is simply not available to any Sevco manager.

Of course, the RIFC Chairman will never be constrained by such pesky facts.

I had written recently about the “cognitive overload” effect of Mr King in full flow.

There are just so many untruths to process that many of them pass you by in that moment.

It is a technique used to great effect by President Trump.

He doesn’t try to slip in a lie like a night time infiltrator through a guarded perimeter.

Instead, he lays down a hail of fibs like supressing fire.

It is machinegun lying.

I was thinking of this yesterday when I was suddenly blindsided.

Something strange happened at the intimate wedding party, sorry press briefing.

Mr King told the truth.

You might want to take a moment dear reader…

He was indeed surprised to learn of the resignation of Mr Paul Murray, a fact reported here at the time.

Like a winger cutting inside onto his weaker foot, when Mr King tells the truth you are rather wrong footed.

However, he was spot on and the Murray resignation came out of the blue for King and it was equally unwelcome.

At the end of the wedding celebrations, it doesn’t seem to have dawned on the invited guests that this shallow grandstanding was the behaviour of a man with no fucks left to give.

It is almost as if he finds this chaos pleasing because he knows that he is the smartest person in the room.

As I have written before everything is fine for the Sevco clientele until the basket of assets has to play football matches.

Tonight at Pittodrie is the pinnacle for the Engine Room Subsidiary.

Becoming second is all that they can manage this season.

Indeed it is the best they can ever do until Celtic self-destruct.

That will not happen unless the champions behave like Rangers (1872-2012).

Dream on Dave.

Dream on…

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