Life’s a pitch

Brendan Rodgers recently made some unfavourable comments about the playing surface at Celtic Park.

His view is that the Parkhead pitch is ill-suited to the high pressing quick passing style that he demands of his players.

Well, the man from Antrim will get his new pitch.

A hybrid of synthetic material and grass.

This playing surface is de rigueur if not mandatory in the English Premier League.

The crucial quality of this modern pitch is that it doesn’t cut up.

I’m told that the cost to Scotland’s biggest club will be in the region of £2m.

That, dear reader, is more than Sevco has spent on a single player since Charles of Normandy purchased the body parts of Rangers in 2012.

Think of it as Joe Garner plus £300k.

Last week several members of the Sevco High Command wanted To Do Walking Away.

However, the spirit of “we all hang together or we’ll hang separately” prevailed.

Well, at least for now…

Payroll is due again this week coming and, once more, a loan from the generous end of the Blue Room will be required.

Well, at least they won’t have to shell out for win bonuses for the match today.

The match day volunteers at Ibrox is a wonderful idea and I’m sure they will not be doing anything that paid stewards used to do.

That would be undignified.

The bizarre nature of this shambles is that the people calling the shots at boardroom level are not the ones who are writing the cheques to keep the lights on.

The auditors Campbell Dallas have called a meeting with the Sevco High Command for this week.

It was the number crunching chaps who requested it.

No agenda has been set for the meeting, but I will endeavour to ascertain what prompted the request.

I’m sure that the financial realities of the Holding Company Vehicle will not be lost on the Campbell Dallas folk.

In the meantime, the usual suspects in the media are crying out for some  Blue Room chap to spend tens of millions of pounds.

It is a folk memory reflex from their good old days.

During the David Murray years old Rangers benefited from a game that was stacked in their favour.

From the largesse of the bank to the secret side letters which concealed the EBT ruse.

When old Rangers were placed in administration five years ago The People found out that they had very few friends among other clubs.

Who knew?

Dear reader, I have no idea how this Sevco shambles ends.

Moreover, I am not claiming that I do know.

However, my sense of it is that it probably will not end well.

Of course, the stenographers will continue to churn out hope flavoured shite to their dignified demographic.

In the meantime The People are coming to terms with life on a genuinely level playing field.

The reality is that Celtic can order up a new pitch that costs more than Sevco’s most expensive player.

Moreover, the champions do not have to borrow money to do so.

The funds are there and it will be value added to the multi-million pound squad that will play their home matches there.

The feelings that The People are experiencing tonight are the inevitable product of following the Espanyol of Glasgow.

They’re Sevco and they know they are…

Discover Phil’s dramatic play Rebellion