Many football fans confess to having a second team.
It’s a feature of the beautiful game.
Over forty years ago, this lifelong Celtic supporter also had some side action.
Neasden FC.
In the pre-digital era, I would rush to my local newsagent in York to grab a copy of the most recent edition of Private Eye.
Reading about the calamitous travails of the suburban strugglers and their tight-lipped and ashen-faced manager, Ron Knee (59), made me whoop with laughter in the refectory.
It’s a happy memory from my undergraduate days,
Looking back, I suspect that many of my ex-public school contemporaries didn’t quite grasp the importance of association football to the working classes.
It is sociology 101 that humour is culture-bound.
Consequently, many of the Julians and the Jocastas didn’t seem to get the joke.
The regular feature on Neasden FC in the ‘Eye was actually a viciously hilarious parody of what passed for football journalism in England at the time.
Every tired cliché was mercilessly recycled by E.I. Addio (our man on the terraces).
Since this site became an accidental success starting in 2008, I have, as an NUJ member, been saddened by the continual failures of the Fitba Fourth Estate on important issues in Fair Caledonia, like their refusal to correctly name the anti-Irish racism of the Ibrox klanbase and the industrial-level cheating of EBT FC in the first decade of this millennium.
Given what might be happening this summer at the stadium John Brown played for, allow me to introduce an Americanism from the business world:
If you don’t look after your customers, someone else will!
Over the last few weeks, I have thought that the digital disruption that created the cultural space for this site is now just the beginning.
If the Internet is equivalent to the advent of the printing press in the 16th century, then perhaps the arrival of Artificial Intelligence (AI) would be the internal combustion engine.
Leonardo da Vinci’s design for a helicopter showed that he understood the concept of rotary lift.
All it lacked to become a reality was a power source.
In this analogy, AI is the new motive force that changes everything.
At the recent NUJ Delegate Meeting (DM), there were a substantial number of motions about the threat of AI to human-generated content.
I was gratified that this motion from my branch was passed with 96% approval from the delegates last month in Blackpool.
Full disclosure, I drafted this with another branch committee colleague
Then last Saturday, I attended a remote meeting of other published Irish writers.
Like the NUJ DM, we spent considerable time discussing the threat of AI to our intellectual property.
One of the contributors to the meeting was Irish Writers Union (IWU) chairperson Conor McAnally, a post also held by your humble correspondent a few years ago.
The union has a current campaign called Grand Theft Author.
You can read about it here.
When I think of how I ransacked my memory for themes and characters that now live in The Squad and Native Shore, I shudder at the concept of an ersatz version bereft of real human understanding.
The replicant as novelist is an appalling vista
Erudite readers will undoubtedly get the literary reference in the title.
Moreover, the media equivalent of the Tyrell Corporation is already planning for replicants in the newsroom.
Dear reader, that is a genuine threat to any functioning democracy.
Unfortunately, the Stenography Corps has already proven that they are easily replaceable by a work experience algorithm.
Their Pavlovian Pollyanna pishful thinking about their beloved franchise on Edmiston Drive is lamentably predictable.
It started with the survival lie of 2012, then they were locked into an Orwellian narrative.
It’s all about peddling pish to a credulous klanbase.
This season, Sevco is without any major honour except, of course, this one.
As a vehicle for ethno-supremacism, the Ibrox franchise is failing its core constituency.
However, the stenographers strain every mediocre sinew to fulfil their role as hope dealers to the Ibrox klanbase.
I’m told by IT professionals that AI looks for patterns to replicate.
I think you can see the problem right there for continued human involvement in the Ibrox content industry.
The age of Max Headroom in the Blue Room is almost upon us.
Sadly, the dwindling readership of the legacy media might not notice any difference.
On the “Pitch of the Season” award: it should be noted that several of The Rangers’ home fixtures were not actually played on it. Was any sort of “weighting” applied in the judgement being arrived at?
I am old enough to remember the daily warnings about the imminent growth of computers and the need to cater for increased leisure time and fewer working hours/days.
I expect today’s predictions of AI robots robbing us of our intellectual property and indeed our jobs to go the same way.
We are built to fear the worst.
Interestingly I have noted that the “Rangers” fan site, Ibrox Noise, one of the least rabid of said fan sites, has recently experimented using AI for its articles. Starting approximately two months ago they uploaded one or two articles along with other pieces written by their regular contributors. What immediately caught my eye was that these articles written by AI were too bland or too “middle of the road” that there were no comments by supporters. They didn’t provide anything that would have engaged the average “Rangers” supporter. When articles are written by humans on Ibrox Noise then you tend to see comments and various threads developing.
Maybe AI just won’t work with all things Ibrox because there’s a filter in AI that regulates what can and can’t be written. Staying inside the law, so to speak. Who knows?
Completely off topic Phil. I’ve noticed over the years that you have frequently referenced the TV series, The West Wing. I missed this when it was on for reasons I’ve long since forgotten. However you piqued my interest enough to check it out. It’s bloody addictive!! My wife and I are now binge watching two or three episodes, most nights.
You have my eternal thanks for pointing me towards some genuinely class television.
Aaron Sorkin created a timeless gem of Americana.
In the last quarter of a century, probably only Obama comes anywhere near as close, in terms of a President with intellect and integrity!!
I own the box set but also used to watch it, endlessly, when shown on Sky during the mornings a few years back. As soon as Season 7 was finished it was back to Season 1 and it was as fresh as the first time, every time I saw it. “Two Cathedrals” is one of the most excellent pieces of television in my lifetime.
“An ersatz version bereft of human understanding”. Isn’t that the Daily Record Sports Desk’s tagline nowadays Phil? 🙂
Even in its worst form, surely AI would be a big improvement on the pish that gets trotted out by the daily record these days.
I am old enough to remember it being a helluva better newspaper than the stuff it churns out today. Utter garbage and that is being kind 🙃
Dear Sid and Doris Bonkers still make an occasional appearance in the pages of my Eye. Although I haven’t heard from one legged netminder Wally Foot in a while 😎
Even before AI envelopes MSM output, is it already too late for the SMSM?
Using our favourite ‘rag to slag’ – The Daily Record – as an example…
If you take its typical content, and then strip out;
– the content which simply regurgitates TV shows content from the night before
– articles and videos copied/pasted from the internet
– the never ending flow of adverts posing as articles/news/reviews
– the now centralised ‘local content’ which quotes events from nowhere near Glasgow,
or even the West of Scotland / Scotland.
[But you still have to read several paragraphs down to establish it happened in
Manchester, London, Wales, or wherever!]
…then you’re only really left with the pitiful Scottish footy coverage?
The DR is now down to its real, hardcore followers totalling c.40K – and still falling.
The DR won’t be missed.
Phil,
The following 2 quotes from both books seem rather appropriate for the current shenanigans at iBroke:
“Owning and maintaining a fraud had a way of gradually demoralizing one”
Philip K. Dick – Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep
“Football, beer, and above all, gambling filled up the horizon of their minds.
To keep them in control was not difficult.”
George Orwell – 1984
Within the Orwellian world a rendition of The Billy Boys is their Two Minutes Hate.
It’s 90 minutes hate in their case. Guess that’s inflation for you Phil! 🙂
Hi Phil, not sure if you saw this story in the Daily Ranger on Saturday 10th May? The churnalist Fraser Wilson presented a story quoting Paul Dalglish who apparently thinks the 49ers take over at Ibrox is a good thing for the whole of Scottish football.
It was this whopper of a quote from the so called jurno that got my attention,
“During that time Rangers were demoted to the bottom division after being struck down by financial crisis”. Dalglish reckons that set the Scottish game back years.
The author Mr Wilson is clearly still in mourning, so much so that he can write the truth and mention the word liquidated.
It seems he is trying to suggest young Mr Dalglish agrees with his assertion that the the old rangers were demoted to the lowest league in mainstream Scottish league, despite there being no mechanism for this to take place.
The more things changed the more they stay the same!!!
Only in Scotland!!!!
Phil,
I would be interested as to your opinion about what is about to take place in Glasgow? Namely that as Celtic celebrate their recent title win (again), the Orange Order will be organising 50, (Yes Fifty) demos in that same space. I seem to remember there was a time they tried the same ridiculousness in Belfast and the wider north east of Ireland. Nowadays, those days are in our riew view mirror.
Hi Phil. Just back from a friend’s wedding. A budding playwright in his day he has now settled. How do I know he has settled? His speech was written by Chat gpt .